Employee of the Month

Yes, that's me. I am September's EOM for my workplace. While I do believe I deserve the honor in terms of my super-compassionate nursing care, I am not the most well-rounded employee. I lack any desire to participate in committees and I am often late to meetings. I've always considered myself a 'pit' person. Tripping over poop and blood in the trenches is where I belong.

But to be fair to myself, if the judgement comes solely about how I take care of my patients, I hit that ball over Fenway's Big Green Monster. After 16+ years in the health care biz, I can say with confidence that I am one awesome nurse. I have never said or will ever say any of the following:

"Oh you have to pee." Cock's head and pouts. "Let me get the aide for you."

"Both your arms are casted and you want me to feed you." Wags finger. "I can see thumb poking out of that."

"You're having pain...And you wonder why?" Clasps hands together in front of body. "You've just had you abdomen sliced open, that's why sweetie."

"Nurses don't give back-rubs anymore honey." Delivers toe pat/squeeze of false comfort." Do you see a gigantic hat on my head? This aint the dark ages."

The sad part is I am not just trying to be funny, I have heard these statements made by nurses. Many are overworked, yes, but many of them just don't care very much. I'll take my EOM and run, because despite my lack of administrative drive, since 1993 I've earned it.