Meet Giles. Giles has Feline Immunodeficiency Virus. Giles is allergic to something that makes him scratch and lick himself to scabby bald mess. Giles nudges my face at 4 in the morning. Giles is a pain in the ass. But he stalks and kills an insect like the Orkin Man. Good Kitty, now get off my head.
Last summer my pre-war-the first one-railroad apartment became infested with rats and mice.
I learned alot about rodents that summer from Juan, my butt crack displaying exterminator. Like rats and mice don't get along and one will trump the other...usually. However, my abode is long and narrow with two separate piping systems. Lucky me! After phone calls and letter to the management office plus three visits from Juan. I was instructed on how to fix the problem. I called in sick to work and with the help of Abbey, my neighbor afflicted with back problems, I moved all my furniture and found every crevice in the baseboards. My phillips head screwdriver served me well that day as I shoved steel wool into every opening.
Later that night, Jon, a cat rescuer, carted three felines in from Brooklyn. Imagine sitting next to that guy on the subway. There was a slim orange short haired cat who wanted nothing to do with me and hissed at the Sebastian, a tiny tiger who paced at the window and Biggie, a white and grey long-haired who climbed in my lap. Biggie also displayed calm when nose to nose with a Basset Hound back at the rescue. How the heck is this this sloth going to kill a rat. Since the new cat's major criterion was getting along with a shepherd mix, Biggie got the nod. You can see how that relationship worked out.
Giles had Giardia when he first came to me and he suffered a massive diarrhea attack. That's 200 dollars at the vet for fluids and medicine. Then Sebastian had to be put on anti-parasite when I cause him snacking on the litter box. It took a month for our home to be parasite free. Then came the hair loss and open sores. The cat had to be put on a special low allergen diet: Dick Van Patten's Natural Balance Duck and Green Pea. I'll have the spinach, Sebastian will have the by-products, and the cat will have the duck. No, not the pheasant, the duck. And a glass of your finest Merlot, please.
Three months later he's better but still chewing, and licking, and gnawing. At night, he sounds like he's sanding grandmother's old hope chest. We went to a DERMATOLOGIST. Yes, the cat has a dermatologist. He's infected, he's itchy. If this round of antibiotic doesn't work out, he will most likely need allergy testing and shots which can cost a 1000 dollars.
With all the antibiotics and food allergies he has earned the nickname, Sir Shits Alot.
But I keep him, because I've fallen in love with him and because he can kill a cockroach in 5 seconds.
Good Kitty, now stop kneading my stomach, I'm not pizza dough.
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